HOLD ON

As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a teacher.  I graduated with a education degree from NCSU and started my career teaching Social Studies at Apex Middle School.  In October of that same year, I married my high school sweetheart and moved into a new home.  Matt and I wonder what we actually did with all of our free time during the first years of our wedded bliss.  Knowing me, I probably spent my days planning for the future and never enjoying the moment.  Years passed as I left teaching and went to work for The V Foundation...babies were born...we moved two more times...and slowly EVERYTHING fell apart.

I inherited my love of poetry from my father.  We spent many family dinners listening to him recite poetry and quote his favorite Shakespearean sonnet.  One of his favorites was Rudyard Kipling's If. The passage of time has enabled me to find a deeper meaning in the author's words.  A few of the lines give life to what I am feeling at this very moment....

If you can......
watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build'em up with worn out tools. 
If you can....
start again at your beginnings...And never breath a word about your loss.

If you can...
force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"

A year ago I would have freely told you that I was on the brink of disaster. I made a choice to trust in the Lord and HOLD ON.  I decided to embrace my brokenness, let go of the past, and believe that God could make a way for me through the desert.  Last Friday I received a phone call that I will be temporarily taking over a 7th grade Language Arts class for a teacher on maternity leave.  Talk about starting again at your beginning!!!  Matt and I are working hard to heal our family from the past hurts and have much to celebrate as we move forward into the new year.  In my wildest hopes and dreams I could never have imagined the doors that have been opened and the prayers that have been answered. 

The holiday season has a way of stirring up grief and pain.  Perhaps you find yourself in the midst of a storm or struggling to keep your head above water.  There is hope no matter where you are in your journey.  When you are all out of options and in need of assistance...I have one little suggestion.  Get on your knees and ask HIM to show you the way.  Then get up and take your first step of faith.  He will take you to places you have yet to even imagine.

Don't let go!!!!