I look around and see a hurting world. People in need of encouragement, hope, and a sense that they are not alone. There have been numerous times in the past 38 years when I have been brought to my knees and simply screamed out to God, "why me?" In an effort to make sense of the senseless I pray, read the bible, talk to friends and family, and I write. Putting the deepest desires and questions of my heart into words somehow allows me to be free.
One of the women in my cancer support group suggested that I adopt a mantra or chant that I can repeat in my mind when fear overcomes me. Waiting for a doctor to give me a diagnosis, trying to relax in the MRI torture chamber, or sitting in a chair while the chemotherapy dripped into my veins all proved to me that I desperately needed to escape reality and soar to a different place. I love every word in Psalm 118...and this one sentence began to direct my every step:
I will not die but live, and proclaim what the Lord has done.
I am alive today and now it is time for me to share with anyone that is willing to listen what I have learned during my journey. It does not matter if anyone reads my words or is even touched by the sentiment. I am being obedient...plain and simple. My family always teases me because I have a horrible habit of making everything about me. Each of us views the world through our own eyes but I am working hard to catch eternal glimpses through my daily walk. Although it certainly would seem that my posts are all about me, I pray that through my experiences you see that I am not the one in control.
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| He will always light our path.... |
After reading this post, I just had to comment. I worked with Christine a long time ago and came to your blog off her facebook. I had to let you know how impressed I am with your insights and ability to share personal trials and triumphs. I have three kids of my own and while my life hasn't been, by any means, even close to as difficult as yours, I think we all struggle with our own things day to day and reading your blog helps me to keep the right perspective. Your entries are beautifully written and thought-provoking. You have no idea of the lives you are touching. So, thanks for airing your "dirty laundry" for those of us who are inspired by you.
ReplyDeleteJamie: you're not alone as you draw people in.
ReplyDeleteYou are brave, you are smart, and deeply sensitive to the world around you. Keep making it "all about me", as it is and will continue to be inspiring to others, still to shy to post a comment.
I like this quote: "I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a great thing." - agatha christie.
take care,
Mary Imms (jimmy v auction team)
Keep it up Jamie! It is all about God - and YOU and that is exactly what I get from your writing. If we can't share our own experiences (which ARE about ourselves) what could we share that would be of any meaning?
ReplyDelete