Fear washed over me as I faced the first day of work. The school parking lot was empty since the early bell would not ring for another 15 mintues. The clock glowed 6:45 AM .... the time that Christine and I had set aside for quiet. Today, I knew I needed an extra dose of peace and grace to calm my nerves. I bowed my head, closed my eyes, took a deep breath.....
April 28, 2011
Prayer has changed MY very existence. Prayer has sustained ME. Prayer has allowed ME to hear the whispers of God. Even when I lift loved ones up, somehow eventually the focus seems to always come back to ME (that will not come as a shock to anyone that knows me well).
Imagine my surprise when one day a coworker asked me if I was a spy. I thought she was referencing the fact that I wore black everyday, but that is a whole seperate issue. She actually wanted to know why I sat in my car in an empty parking lot whispering into my cell phone every morning. I shared with her a little about my relationship with Christine and how we had been praying together for over 4 years. She was honestly interested and asked many questions that got me thinking. I have been so touched by our conversation and in particular one poignant question keeps chasing me..."Why do you pray?"
Has praying become a habit? Is it jolt to get my day going like a cup of coffee? Am I afraid that if I don't pour out all my concerns and worries everyday God will somehow forget me? Am I just trying to get my way in specific situations? Do I just want to talk to Christine without the kids interrupting? A precious exchange with a new aquaintance made me dig a little deeper.
I pray to remind myself to keep my eyes on Him. There is no need to remind the Creator that I need a little attention. I am the one that loses focus. To truly be changed I must lose myself...lay it all at His feet...focus on how I can be used to bless others. Outwardly, my new friend might have walked away impressed with my obedience. How many people around us can say that we are actually "walking the walk" and not just praying the talk? Don't get me wrong, I am not beating myself up at all. I am actually energized and blessed beyond words. God reminded me that he is always watching and I don't want to miss a moment where I can bless someone and bring Him glory.
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