LOOKING FOR JOY

 

 

The rays of light beaming into my bedroom remind me that another magical Spring morning awaits.  As I sit up in bed, I notice the never ending pile of laundry that can no longer be contained by the hamper. I look away only to glimpse the stack of bills demanding to be paid. I glide over to the window and lift the dusty blinds only to hear the dead grass snicker, "Try to plant something Jamie. You will never win."  Horrified I rush to the bathroom to discover soap scum and some black stuff in the shower that will not be defeated by any scrubbing bubbles.  And then there are last year's shorts stacked neatly and patiently waiting...knowing that the weatherman is predicting 80's this week...the time has come.  Mental note..."After I make the boys breakfast gotta head to Target to buy some new shorts.  Hmm, I wonder if anyone will notice if I buy the maternity ones?"

I don't know when my life stopped being fun?  Somewhere in the midst of children, marriage, illness, divorce, debt, and responsibilities I have lost the ability to feel joy.  In fact, I am not sure I even know what the word means anymore.  I was sharing with a high school friend how frustrated I was with myself. He said something that made me laugh until I cried..."Stella got her groove back, so Jamie needs to get her joy back!"  At that moment, I realized that the choice was mine.  No matter our circumstances, we can indeed find joy.


I have faith.  I know God.  He loves me.  I pray.  I read.  I study.  But, do I rejoice?  Do I laugh?  Do I thank God for all of my blessings?  How can I live beyond the details of reality to find my joy? I am certain that joy cannot be found in people, places, or things.  However, when I allow God to guide and direct my path I am blessed by who and what he uses to bring real meaning to my life.  I have set forth a challenge to myself...dwell in those places that make me smile...be surrounded by individuals that bring light to my soul.  Today...jumping on the trampoline with my boys.