WHO ARE YOU FOOLING?

This was the question that stared back at me from the pages of my 5 year journal...Who are you fooling?  The book, given to me by my BFF Christine, poses a question a day intended to playfully keep record of our daily emotion and thoughts over time.  And yet, this morning I failed to find the humor in this particular inquiry. 

I have been wrestling with HONESTY.  I want everyone to like me.  If I fail to meet your expectations, I have a list of excuses ready to provide that can easily get me out of any jam.  Years without change, have forced others to either leave or except me as I am.  I am not a bad person...I just don't always tell the truth.  However, my falsehoods actually have nothing to do with you.  The real fool in my life is....ME.  My carefully constructed existence is entirely intended to keep me comfortable, but it does the exact opposite.  Thankfully, God continues to convict me.  He won't force me to do anything differently.  I can stay in this land of make believe, or I can surrender every area of my life and be used for His glory. 

April 1st is the only day that we are supposed to be foolish, but perhaps I will start another tradition.  Maybe today can be the moment when I start to get real.  The reflection in the mirror does not have to be flawless, but the source of my power is undeniably perfect. 


Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.    Psalm 139: 23-24