THANK YOU LEE

I vividly recall my Mom sitting in a wheelchair holding a tiny bundle in her arms.  She motioned for me to come forward and meet my little sister, but I was far too filled with fear and uncertainty to move.  Once the new baby was settled at home, however, I fell in love with her.  Since I was 8 years older than Lee, our relationship was a combination big sister and mother rolled into one.  As a child LeeAnn sparkled with energy, creativity, and joy. We would spend hours playing in the imaginary worlds that she would create.  My youth would have been dull were it not for her magical gifts and through the years her spirit would continue to support my family.

We sat huddled on the bed together unable to comprehend how to move on without him.  The house was a whirlwind of activity as plans were made for the events of grieving.  I held her and promised that she would never be alone.  Hallow words coming from a 20 year old girl that had no idea how the future would unfold. I desperately wanted to be the caretaker that could ease the pain of those I loved.  The little girl that I vowed to protect would be the very person that would carry ME through my battles.

In 2005, LeeAnn was working as a teacher in New York and had just become engaged to her boyfriend Beau.  After years of celebrating marriages and the births of her nephews and niece, it was finally her time to take the spotlight.  I am ashamed that I never hesitated before I asked Lee to leave her job and Beau to come take care of me for the three months that I would endure cancer treatment.  My oldest son, Jake, was just starting kindergarten. Grant was almost 3, but still could not walk and had therapy several times a week.  Both of them needed a full time Mom and I doubted I would be able to even take care of myself.  During a phone conversation I cried out to my sister, "I need you," and so she pushed aside her world and came to hold up mine.

You will have to wait for my book to be published to read about our three months together.  In an instant LeeAnn had to become a nurse, mother, counselor, chef, housewife, friend, and angel.  I would love to hear her account of our time together...but I will tell you from my point of view I was a HORRIBLE patient.  In the morning, as she got the kids ready for school, I would call out from my bed and criticize the outfits she had put on the children.  I had to remind her how to comb their hair, to vacuum the carpet if a crumb fell on the floor, and when to make the perfect snack that would settle my stomach during chemo.  I am laughing as I am writing this because the only way that Lee and Matt could make it through the day would be to drink large amounts of red wine and trade stories about "the patient."

There were moments that were so raw and precious that I shiver just thinking about them.  Sitting on the cold bathroom floor while she held me as Matt shaved my head.  I was extremely self-conscious about anyone seeing my scarred chest or bald head.  One day as we sat waiting for the oncologist she looked at me from the across the room and whispered, "you are beautiful."  Perhaps the best gift she brought to me was her soon to be husband Beau.  It would be impossible to detail the mysteries of Bo Bo with a short blog...but there has always been an ease and comfort that I feel in his presence.  When he would come to visit laughter would fill my home and I felt more alive than I had in months.  Both of them poured out their love and cared for my children in a way that enabled all of us to feel safe.  In the darkest moments of my life, my sister fed my soul and helped bring me back from the brink of disaster.

My sister is one of the most fascinating people I have ever met.  We are alike in many ways but different enough to keep me guessing about her next move.  I admire so many things about her but what I treasure the most is the fact that she is.... REAL.  She wakes up in the morning and washes her face puts on some gloss and leaves her curly hair to dry naturally.  That smile wins you over as she slowly draws you closer.   Her flaws are not hidden from anyone but only serve to add color and depth to her brilliance.  She loves to argue, is obsessed with food (especially pork), and can find the dramatic element in even the most mundane of activities.  When I am in her presence I simply want to be cuddled and mothered.   I love LeeAnn because she is my little sister, but I thank God for the little angel that has always been MY protector.




The Dynamic Duo of Lee and Beau Beau



My sister and me