GOOD SOIL

Don't Judge Me!!!
 

This is what my grass has looked like for the past year.  In fact, you really cannot even call it grass.  There are green weeds that are growing over dead brown patches of earth.  I wanted to put sod down, but am still recovering from the shock of the price quote.  Honestly, I have never been one to spend much time in the yard, but I decided to seed and fertilize and cross my fingers that in the Spring there will be some green blades. 

Friday after work, I arrived home to find a large truck in my driveway and men spraying some chemicals on the front and back yard.  I walked over to one gentleman and calmly asked him what he was doing.   He smiled and replied, "we are killing everything!"  Oh my gosh..."you were supposed to seed not kill.  How is grass going to grow now that you have poisoned the very soil that was supposed to yield my beautiful lawn?" Obviously, you can see I have no clue about anything.  The worker quickly reassured me that in order for the new seed to flourish they had to kill the weeds and then they would fertilize, water, etc. allowing beautiful new grass to grow.  I smiled as I walked away.  God knew I needed to learn yet another lesson.

But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it.  He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

Matthew 13:23

I love the parable of the Sower.  Basically a farmer goes out to sow his seed and depending on the conditions of the soil he is met with success or failure.  Some of the seed fell on the path and was eaten by birds.  In another instance, the seed falls on rocky places and although something grew it withered because it had no root.  Other seed falls among thorns and the plants are choked and die. 

The seed on the path represents those that hear the Lord's message, but do not understand, and so the evil one steals it.  The seed that falls on the rocky places are people that have some growth as a result of God's teaching, but because there is no root it lasts only a short while.  The rocky places are the trouble, strife, and challenges of the world that often make us lose hope.  The person that receives the seed, but allows the thorns representing the worries of life and deceitfulness of wealth, does not bear any fruit.  The verse above points to the fact that we have to have "good soil" in order for God's word to take root and produce a harvest in our lives. 

Goodness...I pray that the current condition of my lawn is not an indication of the fruit I am bearing for The Lord!  For years, I have allowed the rocky circumstances of my existence to kill everything...my hopes, dreams, and relationships.  Brown patches in my soul and thorns in my heart have kept me from experiencing the fullness of God.  The enemy has brought weeds into my garden and I have been too lazy to pull them up.  Do I trust God enough to allow him to take away anyone and everything that is preventing me from bearing fruit for Him?  I don't want to just go through the motions, hearing the sermons, praying the scripture... while the darkness prevents any seed to take root.  It is time to bask in His radiant light, overflow with the living water, and share the mighty harvest with the world. 

MY BROKEN HEART

I fell asleep the other night with my bible crushed tightly to my chest.  This place of complete brokenness is not new to me, and yet I allow my fears to doubt HIS presence in the midst of the heaviness.  So I must remind myself of the path that I have walked...

He was there when I watched my father take his last breath.  As my 12 year old sister and I sat in the chapel trying to gather the courage to go see his shell...He took our hands and gave us comfort.

He was there as I sat in the cold, heartless room watching helplessly as my sedated 4 month old son's brain was scanned.  With every roaring beep of the menacing machine I felt as if a part of me was dying.

He was there as the doctors told us that he was "damaged".  Would he walk or talk?  Tears flowed each and every night as I grieved the loss of my perfect child.  He has put a new song in my heart as I grow to cherish the child that makes me laugh and brings me joy.

He was there when I heard the words "you have cancer."  As I unwrapped the bandages to see the scars that would never go away, shaved the hair that would return, and surrendered the chance to give life in order to save my own...I was never alone.

He was there when the sword of "I don't love you anymore" tore a hole in my existence.  The words "I found someone else and I am happy" crushed my lungs and I could no longer breathe.  The nights of quiet loneliness and questioning days of unhappiness allowed little rest.

He is here as I struggle to find a new normal.  As I watch my teenager's soul twist with the unknowing questions and brutal reality of our life.  He is here with every bill that I pay and every lesson plan that I prepare.  Every prayer that I utter and smile that breaks free is a testament to his strength in the midst of my weakness.

He whispers, "I love you.  I have you.  I will use this pain for my glory.  Bring me every piece of your broken heart and allow me to put it together again." 

This world has NOTHING that can truly comfort the brokenhearted.  You can dull your pain.  You can ignore the ache.  I want to heal.  I want to be transformed.  And so today, I choose God.