A few friends have challenged me to create a gratitude list to post on Facebook. I wholeheartedly agree that we should take the time daily to recognize our blessings. This simple act keeps our eyes fixed on the gifts that often are pushed aside. A book that my friend Christine gave me has inspired me to record 1,000 things in my gratitude journal in the coming year. As I scribble my daily musings, I always walk away with a smile on my face. There has been one item that I have intentionally left off the pages...PAIN.
How do I appreciate cancer, divorce, a broken heart, a crying child, struggling students, depression, and sickness? We cannot live in denial that bad things happen in our lives. Rather than pushing the hurt aside, I have decided to look intently at the lessons I have learned...
Heartache draws me closer to God. I pray harder, trust more, and refuse to give up. I don't just talk the talk, but I walk the walk as a believer. During the darkest hours, Jesus has never left me alone. I can boldly tell you that there is nothing that this world has to offer that will give you freedom from pain. However, I can assure you that your circumstances may NEVER change, but God's grace is sufficient.
Pain has given me wisdom and maturity. I have learned that nothing can replace unconditional love of family and friends. Those individuals that stand with you based on how you look or what you have to offer them are not walking in love. How we treat others when we don't get what we want, is a true indicator of the condition of our soul. Another friend of mine is memorizing 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 with his family. These verses provide a Godly definition of love that challenges me to think twice before I say those three little words "I love you." Am I impatient, boastful, rude, easily angered, vengeful...?" YES! I don't want to cause others pain by pretending to love them when I continue to live a self-centered life that reeks of my desire to get all of my needs met. Pain has enabled me to cut through the BS and stretch myself toward the kind of LOVE that will not be easily destroyed.
This morning I have thousands of items to place on my list of blessings, but I want to wallow in the pain just a minute longer. Not to feel sorry for myself, but to feel the healing power that has rescued me from the pit. My circumstances will not keep me from moving forward, looking up, and loving others. The pain does not stand a chance against the kind of love that surrounds me each and every day.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
School has been in session for 4 weeks now, and I have had the exhausting honor of getting to know 115 7th graders. Hours have been spent practicing new locker combinations, organizing notebooks, and reviewing material that must be mastered. My class started out reading and writing poetry. One of the boys in my room raised his hand this week and inquired, "Ms. V., why does everything in your class have to be so emotional?" I chuckled and replied, "Because life is emotional!"
One of the reasons I connect deeply with literature, is because of the feelings that are stirred up as I devour the written word. My students have a difficult time expressing themselves partly due to their age and partly because they have become a little robotic. My own son primarily communicates in abbreviated messages filled with acronyms and emoticons. He is most comfortable when the teachers tell him exactly what he needs to do to be successful in class. Down time might entail television or computer games. At 14, he is at the age where he rarely tells me how he feels or what is going on inside his brain.
My days at school and at home are jam packed. I am certain I am not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the hectic pace of living. Our children are hurting, stressed, and struggling to articulate what is going on deep inside. I have pledged to do my part and listen to the young people that have been entrusted to me. I am going to take a deep breath and begin our journey together. At school, I will look up from the computer, the lesson plans, and grade book to see the magic that is waiting to be uncovered in the young minds I meet daily. At home, my boys and I will learn to talk to each other about our days. I want to hear about the adventures Jake is experiencing in High School and the imaginative stories that Grant spins every afternoon.
When was the last time you sat down in a moment of silence and asked yourself, "How do I feel?" Did you take the time to listen to your own voice and respond to the desires of your heart? Start with you, and then go out and touch those you love. Listen to them, ask questions, and show that you want more than the chit chat that has become common. If your children seem distant and hidden behind technology, go for a walk and show them what they have to say is important. It might take time for them to begin to open up to you, but don't give up. The poetry that was written by my students proved to me that our young people have not forgotten how to feel, they just don't know anybody cares. I do...do you?
One of the reasons I connect deeply with literature, is because of the feelings that are stirred up as I devour the written word. My students have a difficult time expressing themselves partly due to their age and partly because they have become a little robotic. My own son primarily communicates in abbreviated messages filled with acronyms and emoticons. He is most comfortable when the teachers tell him exactly what he needs to do to be successful in class. Down time might entail television or computer games. At 14, he is at the age where he rarely tells me how he feels or what is going on inside his brain.
My days at school and at home are jam packed. I am certain I am not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the hectic pace of living. Our children are hurting, stressed, and struggling to articulate what is going on deep inside. I have pledged to do my part and listen to the young people that have been entrusted to me. I am going to take a deep breath and begin our journey together. At school, I will look up from the computer, the lesson plans, and grade book to see the magic that is waiting to be uncovered in the young minds I meet daily. At home, my boys and I will learn to talk to each other about our days. I want to hear about the adventures Jake is experiencing in High School and the imaginative stories that Grant spins every afternoon.
When was the last time you sat down in a moment of silence and asked yourself, "How do I feel?" Did you take the time to listen to your own voice and respond to the desires of your heart? Start with you, and then go out and touch those you love. Listen to them, ask questions, and show that you want more than the chit chat that has become common. If your children seem distant and hidden behind technology, go for a walk and show them what they have to say is important. It might take time for them to begin to open up to you, but don't give up. The poetry that was written by my students proved to me that our young people have not forgotten how to feel, they just don't know anybody cares. I do...do you?
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