When I was growing up, I created a list of pretend friends that existed only in my world. I won't bore you with the details, but my sister Nicole can confirm that I had quite an imagination. In fact, when my Mom would force us to take naps before my Dad's basketball games, the two of us would cuddle together and I would spin elaborate tales about Ms. Tubalard, Judy Candles, Mikey Miller, EE, Omee, and Baby...(don't ask). At the ripe old age of 42, I believed I had left my make believe days far behind. And yet, sometimes I wonder if I am actually living in reality.
Why do I still believe that a knight is going to ride in on a white horse and save me? How have I managed to perpetuate the idea that I should be Queen of the Castle? At the very least, I should not have to be the person that actually cleans the castle! In my fairy tale, there is no sickness, divorce, or calories. I imagine that love lasts forever, everyone passes their end of grade tests, and children always obey their parents. The world has not been living up to my expectations, and so like a stubborn child I have simply refused to grow up. I moan, groan, eat, drink, pray, complain, cry, and eat more all in an effort to numb my dissatisfaction with the way my story is unfolding. I have two choices...stay hidden deep inside of my fantasies never realizing the woman I should have been...or put on my big girl Spanx and start moving forward.
Starting today, I will find the extraordinary in the ordinary. I will celebrate the beauty in my brokenness. I will not be afraid to face the truth. I will stop making you who I want you to be, and love you for who you are, or choose to walk away leaving room for another. I won't lie, I am a little afraid. What if I can't make it in the real world? The truth is...I can't fail...you can't fail...we have already been saved.
