FOREVER BEAUTY

The new fallen snow was a glorious view while I read my morning devotional.  I had to take a moment and just soak in the majesty.  The blazing purity of nature made me want leave the warmth of my couch and run out to make some snow angels.  As I placed my coffee cup in the sink, I caught sight of myself in the mirror.  Who was this hideous creature?  Pale skin with just a touch of dark pigmentation spots from the hours spent tanning. Hair  matted to my head because I lacked the energy to even use the blow dryer.  Pants that hung loosely around my waist, not because I have lost weight, but because they happen to be a pair of maternity sweats I wore 12 years ago.  Yikes...someone needs a makeover fast. 

When do you feel beautiful?  I can assure you that when I am comparing myself to anyone on television or in a magazine, I come up short.  I also have a hard time looking at old family pictures.  My sister Nicole and I often think we should cut our hair like we wore it in 2000, but then we realize it is because we were 15 years younger that we look so fresh.  My foray into online dating has proven to me that 90% of what makes a man respond to your profile is your appearance.  Don't get me wrong, physical attraction is important. But if you post a picture that promises more than what you can deliver, don't expect a second date.  As I watch the melting snow outside, I am reminded that visual beauty will not last forever...or does it?

In a few short weeks, the new growth of Spring will become evident.  Colorful life will literally come forth from the earth. It is at this time of year that I am awakened from the darkness of the winter and am drawn to the exuberance and vitality of this season.  Perhaps we should take a lesson from nature and realize that it is our own enthusiasm and energy that truly makes us attractive.  Have you ever been with someone that just makes you feel alive?  You tend to laugh more in their presence and happiness is a byproduct of your time spent together.  Just like the new bud pushing up through the ground, our true beauty comes from deep inside.  We sparkle and shine not because of the jewelry that adorns us, but because of the force within us.  The latest fashions will some day be out of date, but a dazzling smile and infectious giggle will always be in style.  Peace, joy, and gratitude cannot be bought or stored in a bottle. 

God reminds me that "though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."  I pray that I don't become so preoccupied with how you see me, that I forget to focus on what truly makes me beautiful.  We are constantly surrounded by breathtaking views in nature to remind us that His creation is truly beautiful...today, tomorrow, and forever. 

STEPPING OUT IN FAITH

 

 

 

Last Saturday, I stepped out in faith and shared my personal journey with a group of strangers.  I certainly prepared for the speech, but since I was communicating my deepest truths there was nothing to memorize.  Hiding and hoping that the pain would simply diminish with the passage of time is not working.  Another course of action, one in which I bring the wounds that refuse to heal into the light, is my new plan. 

As I stood on the stage and felt all eyes on me, my mind wandered to another unforgettable moment.  On March 4, 1993, while accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, my Dad exemplified strength through brokenness.  It was as if he took his very essence into his hand and offered it to anyone that was willing to listen.  As he was helped off the stage, and settled into the seat next to me, he leaned over and whispered, "Did I do okay?"  I realized in that moment how frightening it truly is to share yourself with others.  How easy it would be for me to now hide behind a carefully planned recounting filled with witty jokes and anecdotes.  I could wrap everything up neatly and place a shiny bow on top and leave you feeling all tingly.  My Dad is still whispering to me, "Jamie, go deeper.  Show them everything.  Don't be afraid."  And so, I gave that group of 175 women all of me. 

I walked off stage and found my best friend Lisa and her daughters waiting to embrace me.  Lisa  had given me this wonderful opportunity.  When I told her that I was going to leave teaching and focus on speaking and writing, she became my first client.  My little entourage had many complimentary comments, but I doubted  I could trust a single word.  Delaney, gathering wisdom from her 16 years of living, said something that made me catch my breath.  "Ms. Jamie, remember when your Dad sat down beside you and asked you how he did after his speech?  I know what you must have been feeling, because that is how I feel about what you just did."  I have known Delaney since she was born, but in that moment she became my guide.  I am not sure if I made an impact on any other person in the room, but this beautiful girl will remember my words, and that is more than enough.

Once again by taking a risk, stretching myself beyond comfort, and refusing to let the past dictate my future, I have been blessed.  Appreciate the messy life that you have been given, run toward those things that make you feel brave, and surround yourself with people that look you straight in the eyes and pour out their love into every corner of your soul. 

My precious Delaney Hope Miller