THIS IS THE DAY!

Grief is like a chain bonding me to my past.  Hope is the soaring bird that allows my soul to break free.  I have spent years bumping between these two companions never fully living in this moment...this day...this reality. 

Last week I had my wood floors refinished.  The boards were scratched, marred, and warped from 13 years of living.  As I entered my "new" home, the beautiful wood created such a warm and inviting space.  My Mom helped me with the arduous task of cleaning all the dust and putting every book and picture back in place. We sat on the couch and looked around at our handiwork and she commented on how pleased I should be with the outcome.  My response was something like, "Yeah, it is nice, but now I have to get my carpets cleaned."  This experience magnified the way in which I have been dealing with life.  I am desperately trying to repair yesterday's ugly remnants, and at the same time planning for the next person or thing that will bring beauty to my world.

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.   Psalm 118:24

I find it impossible to rejoice in the day...when I am never actually existing in the 24 hours I have been given.  A couple of necessary habits have become part of my routine.  It sounds crazy, but I have to teach myself to breathe.  I fill my lungs with the air that is around me at the moment and it seems to center me in the now. Next, I mentally create a gratitude list whenever I find my thoughts wandering into dangerous territory.  I am so thankful that I am going to see Jake perform in his school musical tonight.  My Mom and John will be sitting beside me witnessing my 15 year old son step out in faith. Grant is upstairs listening to music and we are going to spend the rest of the day together running simple errands. I am healthy and healed.  I am loved and cherished.  God is challenging me to release all that has led me to this place, receive all the blessings that are floating around me, and request nothing that is outside of what He desires to give me.

Close your eyes right now, take a deep breath, and listen.  What can you find to rejoice over in this very moment?  Allow your lips to curl into a smile and keep it there for the rest of this day.